10 March 2010
10 March 2010
My fellow Americans, what’s more American than health careless? President Obama now says that passing the Obamalosi Health Scare plan will reduce the deficit by $1 TRILLION – mostly because the plan will kill off about a million senior citizens on Social Security. Obama was on America’s Most Wanted to celebrate the show’s 1000th episode. It’s only fitting, since Obama helped track down dozens of crooks in Illinois – and put them in his Cabinet. Obama recently named a judge to the 10th Circuit Court, whose brother is a US Congressman sitting the fence on the Obamalosi Health Scare plan. This on the heels of bribes to elected officials in Nebraska, Louisiana and Florida. Man … the electricity bill at the White House has TRIPLED since they set up the CHICAGO MACHINE in the basement. Meanwhile, Obama is trying everything to get votes in The House. He’s promised to campaign for them in their districts if they vote his way, and if they DON’T vote his way he THREATENED to campaign for them in their districts. Hey hey Donna; why did the President change his name from Barry to Barack? C’mon; Barry sounds WAY too American.
Speaking of got a few bugs in it … Northern Arizona University students wanted to see if they could scare BEETLES by using the sound of Rush Limbo’s Voice. It didn’t work; the bugs were NOT frightened. However it DID have one side effect: the black beetles blamed the white beetles for EVERYTHING. Look kids, if you want to scare bugs, try using Yoko Ono’s voice. That scares ME.
Speaking of startling revelations … a guy named Bradley has invented I-Dump-4-U dot com; a service where he’ll call your boy-or-girl friend and break up with them FOR you. Boy, this guy will be ROLLIN’ in the dough if he gets Tiger Woods as a client.
Speaking of rollin’ … Detroit is planning to ease urban blight by razing 10,000 abandoned houses and replacing them with farmland. Why not? Detroit has already gone from Motown to HO(e)-Town.
And more and more guv’mint skool districts are opting for a 4-day week. It saves the teachers gas money, saves the districts utilities money and saves the students money on ammunition.