15 March 2010
15 March 2010
My fellow Americans, what’s more American than drudging through the day? Senate Democrats have ordered staffers NOT to read the Drudge Report. Their excuse for that is they say Drudge’s website has VIRUSES. Oh yeah; it’s not at all that Drudge is reporting information that you don’t want them to see – NOT AT ALL. You guys should’ve been worried about viruses in Eric Massa’s office. Meanwhile, the House Ethics Committee has come to a conclusion about Eric Massa. They can’t find a trace of ethics on him. In a related story, dozens of same sex couples got married in Washington, but it was kind of embarrassing when Eric Massa tossed the bouquet and it was caught by Larry Craig.
Speaking of couple troubles … Tiger Woods was seen smooching his on-again-off-again wife Elin. I guess that’s what 45 days in sex-rehab with NO sex will do for ya. Tiger Woods said he would like to apologize to all the OTHER women in his life, and he would do that if Elin would give him his cell phone back. Hey hey Donna, why didn’t Elin smack Tiger with a driver? Apparently she was trying to IRON out their differences.
Speaking of party crashers … NASCAR’s Earl Edwards has been suspended for causing a reckless crash by upending a fellow racer at 200 mph. This is what NASCAR has to do these days; after all they ARE competing with Toyotas in the news.
And President Obama says that passing the Obamalosi Health Scare plan will REDUCE the deficit. This is kind of like when your wife goes on a shopping spree, spends a thousand dollars and then tells you how much money she saved you. And for those who want a French-style socialized medicine plan, look at the Eiffel Tower – that’s what the Empire State building would look like after taxes. Get it? In a related story, Chief Justice John Roberts slammed Obama for showing no respect to the Supreme Court. But ya gotta figure, Obama thinks that any guv’mint employee who is NOT in a union is an enemy of The State.